Welcome to Vandelay Industries:
Seinfeld Soundbites
Click here for: Miscellaneous Characters
              George Costanza as Art Vandelay:

     Vandelay Industries.wav (114kB)

(phone rings)
- Kramer: Yallo, what Delay Industries?!
- Elaine: nooh...!
- George: (from bathroom) VANDELAY, SAY
- Kramer: Nah, you're way way way off...! (what?!)
- George: (from bathroom) VANDELAY,  SAY VANDEL ... 
        (george runs into the livingroom and falls)...
        Vandelay Industries, ...
- Kramer: No problem, ... no problem!
Cosmo Kramer

Got room in the car for the pig man, 2 seater.mp3

I am Cosmo Kramer, The Assman.mp3

Erica, the phone sex woman; blew your mind.mp3

Gennice (understudy Bette Midler) not suitable for Broadway.mp3

Kramer fighting and driving with a mugger in a Bus.mp3 (63kB)

Fighting over Bra-less woman and O'Henry candybar.mp3

Kramer trying to crack George's ATM code.mp3

The colliding world theory.mp3

The Contest - Count me in on this.mp3

Kramer breaking up with his girlfriend, contribution.wav

I am Cosmo, Jerry. I am Cosmo Kramer!.wav

I'll see ya later buddy.wav

I'm dangerous Jerry, I'm very very dangerous!.wav

Jerry is a rabid anti-dentite!! They do have their own schools!!.mp3

So what's up, Diggity Dog?.wav

The Dominicans will come after El Presidente.mp3

When they pull that needle out, I let the expletives fly.wav

Kramer knows all about fake breasts.mp3

The supermarket doesn't have decent piece of fruit.mp3

Giddy up.mp3

Ooh, GOD help us!!.wav

Kramer wants to play golf between the dunes.mp3

Hand model: Kramer discusses George's hands.mp3 (23kB)

Who wants to have some fun (...)?!.mp3

Hoochie mama.wav

These were real hooters.mp3

The spit: I screamed out, I'm hit.wav

Jerry and Elaine are in love with each other.mp3

The Little Jerry (rooster) is doing more with Jerry's name, than Jerry ever will.mp3

Who's gonna turn down a Junior Mint, delicious.mp3 (30kB)

The Chicken Roaster: Kramer in bed eating chicken when the Lights go out. Kenny?!.mp3

The Chicken Roaster: Kramer at his window with a sign saying "come back Kenny".mp3

The Chicken Roaster: Kramer begging Jerry to leave the roasters alone. Big Problem.mp3

I'm Cosmo Kramer, the Assman!wav

Oohh-yesss.wav (17kB)

You gotta listen to the little man.mp3 (38kB)

Kramer explaines the whole concept of Marriage to Jerry!!!.mp3

The Merv Griffin show: Scandals & Animals!.mp3

Kramer punched Mickey Mantle, hit me.mp3

Jerry wants the telephone number of Isabel. Look in the mirror.mp3

Kramer threw a banana peel to a monkey.mp3

Kramer has to apologises for hitting the monkey.mp3

Kramer's mother has got to help George. Matron.wav

There is a naked woman across the street.wav


The anguished "oink" of Pig-man cries out 4 help.mp3 (14kB)

I'm out there Jerry, and I'm lllovin' every minute of it!!!.mp3

I just saw a pig man! A pig man!.wav (37kB)

When I don't like you, you've got problems.wav

Multiply the recipe, Kramer gets confused.mp3 (30kB)

Kramer advertises Hennigans (scotch).mp3

It stinks, can you smell that? You stink!.mp3

George needs a surgery. "My name is Bob"!.mp3

The hot tub is like Sweden, Sweeeeden.mp3 (30kB)

Jerry is Switzerland.mp3

Ja ja ja, just tell it.wav

A bra is for ladies. Meet, the bro.mp3

You're thin, late 30s, single. So are you!.wav

All the big companies write off everything.mp3 (64kB)


Jerry Seinfeld

All right!!!.wav (8kB)

That's a big move - Matzoh Ball.wav 41(kB)

I know the chunky that left these chunkies,

Kramer never listen to Jerry anymore. Crazy time.mp3 (63kB)

Favourite explorers, Magellan. DeSoto?!.mp3 (79kB)

Jerry's confessing. Father: offends you as a Jewish person?!.mp3 (64kB)

Are we finished?! Done!.wav (11kB)

Fungicide. I mean what could she have?.wav (20kB)

God bless you. "You're soo good looking''.mp3 (20kB)

Hello Jerry. Hello Newman.wav (28kB)

Hello Newman. Hello Jerry.wav (11kB)

Hellooooooohh.mp3 (6kB)

Kramer's face is hideous.mp3 (92kB)

Slapping hands is the lowest form of male primate ritual - Puddy: High five.mp3 (97kB)

The Voice: Holaaaa, helloooohh.mp3 (18kB)

Newman is my sworn enemy. He lives down the hall from my home.mp3 (31kB)

I'm not sure and and and correct me if I'm wrong but I think I see ... a nipple!.wav (71kB)

This is horrible! I care!.mp3 (40kB)

Ever tell you how much I love you.mp3 (39kB)

(Phone) Hi Sophie, it's me. The Tractor

So long, Jackass!!.mp3 (4kB)

I get jiggy with it!.mp3 (5kB)

Knowing you is like going out in the jungle.mp3 (20kB)

The Kiss Hello: I don't see the point to it.mp3 (25kB)

The Kiss Hello: How about an intercourse

La la laaaahhh.mp3 (8kB)

I'm going to hire you as my latex salesman?!.wav (57kB)

The Contest: Men have to do it, part of Lifestyle.mp3 (15kB)

Make-up sex is the best feature of a

Master of your domain. Queen of the castle.wav (22kB)

Mulva? ... Gipple? ... Loleola? ... Oh, Deloris!!!.mp3 (98kB)

Jerry suppress his emotions - What's that, a new bit?.mp3 (68kB)

We're like children. We're not men. Pathetic!.mp3 (39kB)

We're not gay! Not that there's anything wrong with that!.wav (33kB)

I chose not to run.mp3 (15kB)

95% of the population is undateable - Alcohol.wav (64kB)

phone) Would you be interested in a subscription to the New York Times.mp3 (24kB)

You're gonna be the first pirate. I don't wanna be a pirate.mp3 (32kB)

Newman, open the door!! Pleasant surprise.wav (36kB)

Jerry is hooked up to a Polygraph - Melrose Place.mp3 (57kB)

I made a reservation, do you have my reservation? But the reservation keeps the car here. That's why you have the reservation! (...).mp3 (100kB)

Risk: It's a game of world domination being played by two guys who can barely run their own lives.mp3 (21kB)

Uniforms Yankees shrunk. That's a shame.mp3 (63kB)

The Spit Theory: Allow me to reconstruct this.mp3 (44kB)

The Spit Theory: (...) That is one magic luggie.mp3 (51kB)

You stink. Thanks for the tickets though.mp3 (69kB)

Jerry is stressed, he's become Kramer.mp3 (36kB)

We discover yet another talent. Posing as a girlfriend for homosexuals.mp3 (14kB)

The Deal Theory: this (friendship) vs. that (sex).wav (83kB)

Kramer if I killed somebody would you turn me in? (...)
I thought I DID!.mp3

George needs to be observed in Vienna at University level to get better.mp3 (135kB)

Stand up (performing): Men want Women!!! These are the best ideas we’ve had so far.wav (122kB)

Tim Whatley making Jewish jokes. Schtickle of flouride.mp3 (101kB)

What's the worst thing that could happen?.mp3 (44kB)
George Costanza

Ah-haahhhh!!!.wav (17kB)

Temperature in Florida, 79, almost 80.mp3 (24kB)

Answering machine George: Believe it or not, George, isn't at home (...).mp3

Pretend to be an architect.wav

I am the Bad boy, never been the bad boy. The bad employee, son, friend, ..., tipper!!.mp3

He is beboppin and scattin, and I am losing it.wav

You had to have the Big Salad!!.mp3

Break up through the phone? One motion! Right off!.wav

Buzzer - come on up.mp3

Can't park in a garage, it is like going to a prostitute.mp3

Mr. Heyman - Can't stand ya

My mother caught me during....(you know) .mp3

I am caught in my own web of lies.wav

Block of cheese, the size of a car battery!.wav

Checkmate - we should not see each other anymore.mp3

The advantage of dating a prisoner, no competition and pop-in.mp3

Jerry slept with Elaine, Now you listen to me. I want details and I want them right now!.mp3

Different cupsizes, D is the biggest.wav

You double dipped the chip. You dipped the chip. You took a bite, ... and you dipped again.wav

The ego: friend/sex arrangement between Jerry and Elaine.mp3

Never felt confident below the equator.mp3

Kramer goes to a fantasy camp. His whole life is a fantasy camp!.mp3

Funny guy!!.wav

You can stuff your sorries in a sack mister.wav

Lets get nuts!!!.wav

Get down on your knees and thank god that (...).mp3

George goes nuts: Japanese guys had sake in the hot tub!!!, Uncle Leo?! JERRY!!!.mp3

Do you wanna have sex right now?!! Let's go! C'mon, let's go baby!!! C'mon!.mp3 (29kB)


Holding it in is very bad for the kidneys (pool).mp3

Are you cying from Home alone?! The Old man got to me... Oh, shut up!.mp3

Hoochie mama.wav

Break up: You lied toe me George!... I got hand!... And you'll gonna need it.mp3

You are killing Independent George!!.mp3

IQ-test: People think I am smart, but I am not smart. Who think you are smart?!.mp3

The jerk store called, and they are runnin outta u!!!.mp3


What kind of person are you; only successful.wav

Jerry = Kramer since he moved in Kramers appartment.mp3

Little respect for the Lord of the Idiots.mp3

George in love with Tony the Mimbo.mp3

The Marine Biologist - George walks into the water.mp3

The Marine Biologist - the sea was angry that day my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli! (...) A hole in one, huh?!.mp3

The Marine Biologist - George tells to Diane he is not a Marine Biologist.mp3

The Race - George pretends he doesn't know Jerry.mp3

The Race - George is becoming bald.mp3

Driven woman to lesbianism, never to mental institution.mp3

No no no no no.wav

Hey it is George, got nothing to say.wav

George in discussion with an old man. Live is too short to waste on you.mp3 (56kB)

Feel like my old self again, (...) It is a pleasure.mp3

The Opposite Theory: My life is the complete opposite of everything I want it to be (...).mp3

The Opposite - My name is George (...), I am Victoria.mp3

The Opposite - Who are u, I am the opposite (...).mp3

Food and sex are the 2 passions.mp3

Am I talking to you Pinhead?!!!.wav

Are you crazy, this is like discovering plutonium by accident!!!.mp3

I was in the pooooool, I was in the poooool !!!.wav

Every time I think I am out, they pull me back in!!.wav

No one has accomplished the Roommate Switch.mp3

Salsa is the number one condiment in America. Salsa, salsa, salsa.mp3

Serenity now!!!!!.wav

Sons of bitches!!.wav

The Opposite - Job applicant at the New York Yankees. Hire this man!!.mp3 (110kB)

The Andrea Doria - Life stories of George.mp3

I can sense the slightest human suffering.mp3

I proclaim this the Summer of george.wav

The Opposite - We're trying to watch the movie!!! (... tough).mp3

I am unemployed and live with my parents.wav (34kB)

George is gettin upset!!.wav

George is wasting his life. No job, money, woman, prospects (...). Daily News.mp3

Mr. Hayman gives George a Wedgie.mp3

What the hell is going on here?!!!.wav

The colliding worlds theory, killing independent George.mp3

Yada yada yada.wav

Elaine Benes

Maybe the Dingo ate your baby! The dingo ate your baby!.mp3 (20kB)

Are you gonna sleep with me or what?! I'm too tired to even vomit at the thought..mp3 (23kB)

Elaine hates The English Patient, go to hell !!.mp3 (22kB)

Elaine has faked: It was all an act?! What about the breathing, the panting, the moaning, the screaming? Fake, fake, fake, fake!.mp3 (29kB)

A bird ran into my giant freak-head.mp3 (19kB)

Get out.mp3

Admitting a man is handsome (...), it does not help.mp3 (39kB)

Helloooohh.mp3 (8kB)

What am I, a hooker?!.wav (13kB)

I am become George, it is true, I am George.mp3 (44kB)

Elaine, Jerry and George saying: These pretzels are making me thirsty.mp3 (55kB)

He recycled this gift, he is a regifter.mp3 (12kB)

Jerry!!!, shut uuuupp!.mp3 (5kB)

Stunned by soup?!.mp3 (5kB)

She is a virgin, not like spotting a toupee.mp3 (22kB)

Yada yada yada.mp3 (3kB)

Yada yada sex, I mentioned the bisk.mp3 (43kB)
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vandelay industries
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jerry seinfeld, george costanza, cosmo kramer, elaine benes, newman, mr steinbrenner, soupnazi, frank and estelle costanza, soundbites, sound bites, MP3, wav, pictures, sounds
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Last updated: 11-06-2005